Are you really a Muslim? or just bearing a Muslim name?

..i am such a lucky guy, who was born as a Muslim..plus, i was grown up in a Islamic community for almost my whole life..most of my friends, and neighbors are Muslim..in a nutshell, i could say that i was never been exposed to any other religions/beliefs except Islam..nobody was challenging me about the truth of my religion..thus, i didn't care too much to know more about Islam..for me, to be a good Muslim, it was really easy: praying 5 times a day, fasting during Ramadan, and doing some few ritual activities..yet, i did all those stuffs because i was told to do so, being they were my parents or my religious school teachers..whenever i started asking some basic questions, such as why should i do this or that, i was telling to keep my mouth shut..to make it even worse, i was told to memorize some basic principles in Islam just to pass my exams (in Johore, there were many free religious schools back then)...i didn't have to worry much about the reasons behind all of those principles since i would never been asked in the exams..so, who cares to know?

..but, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah), due to my so-called excellent results in SPM, i was given an opportunity to further my study overseas (to be specific, i'm now studying in "Uncle Sam" country, US)...living in the country, which Muslims are being a minority group, is indeed very difficult...plus, Muslims are more known as terrorists rather than peace-makers..so, every single action is being scrutinized..but, this so-called "terrorist" status, doesn't really affect me..the worst part is that, my faith is now being challenged by some of my atheist friends..they are asking many questions, which i, myself, don't really know the answers..for example, why God creates the mankind, if He knows that they would cause war rather than peace? are you sure, you are praying to God, not your conscience? if the universe starts with a great explosion, called the big bang, then what comes before the big bang?...and the questions don't stop there...at first, i felt such humiliated and shameful for not being able to answer all these questions..i was told by many, back then, to stop asking some questions that could shake my faith..so, instead of confronting and arguing with these atheist friends, i took such an immature step: trying to avoid from discussing any religious issue with them..i would try my very best to divert them whenever they start talking about the religion..yes, it worked very well for a while..

..yet, after some time, i did realize that this solution was not very helping me at all...i was not actually solving the problem, but i was mere running away from it...thus, i decided to learn more about my very own religion..but, don't get me wrong..i'm not questioning my own religion, yet i'm learning it by asking some questions..so, i hope that, my effort will be blessed by God since He is the only one, who is the Most Powerful and the Most Merciful..