living alone for the whole summer led me to one new hobby - evening stroll! yeah, it sounds lonely, but here i am..a lonely, but a content man.. :)
..taking out my time from thinking about research and personal problems really benefits me in a sense that i learnt a lot of new things..i saw many things happening just in front of me..i was like an invisible man to them..either i was there or not, they just don't care..but, i just love to be invisible [okay, it reminds me a song called, "Miss Invisible" sang by Mary Digby]..i can watch w/o disrupting them..
..and today, i saw a dad, playing a "soft-base" ball kind of game w/ his three kids [i just don't know what were they playing actually. the way the dad threw the ball was like a softball pitcher, but the whole equipments were nothing but a part of baseball game] okay, whatever the game was, it is not really important to me..but, i just enjoyed watching them playing together..the kids [all girls] were very "gigih" [as one of my lovely friend is used to say] hitting and receiving the ball...they were running all around the square area, closed to my school campus..but, ironically, i cannot see any woman standing w/ them..how weird, huh? i tried to look around, guessing that their mom might be somewhere around, sitting under a tree [perhaps], watching her hubby and kids spending evening time together..but, i was disappointed to know that their mom was not there..then, my whole imagination of a perfect family came to end..urgh, now i need to find somewhere else..
..then, i went to a nearby park, closed to my residence hall..the park seemed as usual as it was used to be - few people watching their dogs, mixing and getting along w/ other dogs, kids running around w/ their buddies, and etc..but, there was an old man, sitting along that really captured my attention..i could see how lonely he was, sitting by himself alone..i thought i was the most lonely person in this entire world, but i was wrong..there was somebody that felt worse than mine, i guess..unlike me, this old man was waiting nothing but a moment to die..i didn't see anything on his face, that showed any worries about tomorrow..nothing was bothering him, i think..he was as lonely as i were, but w/ less problems than mine..yet, i think i am much better than him..but, why? it is simply because i am still having many dreams to chase..so, i guess, my life is much more meaningful to him..but, i really pray hard to God that, by the time i was at his age [jika umur panjang], i won't be lonely as he is..i hope i could spend the last part of my life w/ someone that i really love for, w/ kids that do care about me, and the most important thing is that, i do hope that i have someone to take care of..
..anyway, after spending about half an hour, walking and wondering around, i got myself back to room..again, i am stuffed w/ my laptop and my abundant of research papers that are yet to be finished read and digested..anyway, i wish all of you, a happy and meaningful life..don't stop dreaming!
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