Monday, May 31, 2010

The Day I Will Come HOME!

America is such a great country,
in which everyone can hardly forget,
in which everybody loves to be bonded with,
in which each of us is dreaming for,
to wake up in the morning just to find ourselves,
living and being part of this great nation.

America is undoubtedly a promising land of opportunity,
which in it contains passion and energy,
with millions of dreamers chasing their dreams days and nights
with no fears of losing hopes and desires,
with thousands of opportunists and optimists,
working out together to build their own legacy,
so that they will be recognized and could be remembered,
as a part of this nation..

America is as strong and tough as it might sound,
but, for me,
no matter how great or addictive she was,
my heart belongs to this one small nation,
a nation, in which barely known by many,
a nation, which just got her independence few years ago,
and therefore,
am very proud to say it loudly that,
i am belong to a nation, called Malaysia.

yet, as a big dreamer,
i am always envisaging myself,
coming back home one day,
not only with a scroll of degree,
but also with vast priceless experiences,
in which later,
i could use to build my own society.

yet, should the day to come,
i have to acknowledge that,
there are many obstacles and mountains,
that i have to walk through,
there would be thousands of storms and thunders,
which i should bear with,
but, i persistently pray to God,
no matter how hard they would be,
please let my hopes existed,
since without hopes,
my life is nothing but meaningless.

but, to be honest,
i am not sure myself,
when the day is,
should be a year,
might be a decade,
or to the extend,
it might be forever.
nonetheless, i am sure for one thing,
of any of these cases,
i'll return to the place i am belong to,
a place that has been guaranteed by my Lord,
which i call as, DEATH!

and to the best of my knowledge,
the time is getting closer and closer,
and i'm afraid i couldn't fulfill my dream,
when that time comes!

i was mad, i was sad..

i was mad, and sad when i knew that some of Pro-Palestine activists were caught and, even few were murdered by Israeli troops..and i was more sad, and terrified to know that the world was doing nothing for that action..i was looking forward to see few Muslim leaders to condemn this ridicule, for the least..yet, to the best of my knowledge, no one was doing so! what happened?

..but, as i was thinking how such situation could happen (kebaculan), i asked myself a basic question.."what should i do?" i don't want to see it's happening like not a big figure tho, in which my words will be listened by no body! but, at the very last, i believe my words and prayers are listened by, let's pray (no matter you're Muslim or not), in the name of humanity, so that all those detainees and detainees-to-be will be protected by God from any danger..let them be strong in their wills to help the Gaza people..amen..

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Happy Belated Birthday Mama,

am very sorry that i forgot your birthday..i promise this should be my first and last to forget this date..for the record, i have never failed before..but, this year, i did! a big *PUNCH* onto my face! i can understand if i forget some important dates..but, to forget the day my lovely lady was born is just totally truly sorry!

*mama, if i were to die soon, will you forgive me? are you proud of me, for things that i have done so far? i hope so :) *

Monday, May 17, 2010

I need to take a break for a while!

the reason i started blogging, about 6 months ago, was to inspire people, to share my ideas, and etc..but, lately, it seemed like, i was not doing what i planned, i checked all my previous posts, and most of them were worth nothing at all..most of them were all about me..anyway, who cares what happen to me, at the first place..

so, to avoid myself from talking more and more rubbish in my blog, i have decided to take a more updates, maybe for a month or a year! i haven't decided yet about the timing..but, for sure, not very soon! so, for those who are following my blog, (i know there are only 6, anyway, lol) am very sorry about this..for those who have been hurt for what i have been saying/writing, i am very sorry..for those, who have been inspired (if any), please spread the good words to others..

..and see you again in other times..till then, adios amigos!

p/s: i will also take a break from facebook!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

We are almost there, yet...

Aku sadar bukan mudah
Untuk mengejar mimpi indah
Pernah suatu ketika dulu
Ku punya harapan besar
Kini aku tak pasti
Dapatkah ku miliki

Sudah jauh kita tempuh
Kekalkanlah impian lalu
Mungkin ada hikmah
Yang akan menunggu
Di penghujung jalan
Biar nanti kecewa
Setidak-tidaknya mencuba

Jika halangan menduga perjalanan kita
Janganlah kau putus asa
Karena ku ada di sisi setia menemani
Andai semangatmu gugur
Genggamlah tanganku
Kita hampir ke situ

Adakala ku terasa
Ketabahan tak setegar
Tetapi apakan gunaya
Berhenti separuh jalan
Percayalah padaku
Aku yakin kita mampu

Biar orang katakan
Rapuhnya harapan
Bukan mereka tentukan lagi
Kau ada aku dan aku punya kamu
Amanlah akhirnya tetap bersama

My Generation!

Generasiku - Radhi (OAG)

Pagi terjaga ku dari mimpi
Terasa hati senang sekali
Pasti dirinya ku yang punya di hari ini

Bersama kawan-kawan ku pergi
Tertawa riang senda takdir
Indahnya dunia ketika kita muda remaja

Segalanya dalam genggaman
Walau apa pun takkan menjadi halangan
Hidup ini setia menanti
Generasiku bersinar bagai mentari

Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk

Na na na na
Na na na na

Malam ini bertemu di pesta
Berdebar membalas senyumannya
Manisnya oh jatuh cinta kali pertama

Bersama melukiskan impian
Cinta, cita-cita dan harapan
Di usia ini tiada yang tak mungkin
Oh sayang

Segalanya dalam genggaman
Walau apa pun takkan menjadi halangan
Hidup ini setia menanti
Generasiku bersinar bagai mentari

Jangan gentar mengejar mimpi
Yakin berani percaya diri
Dan mula dengan hello uk-oh uk-oh

Jangan takut jatuh ke bumi
Pintas bangun melangkah lagi ke depan
Lari dan terbang menuju bintang
Hanya kau saja yang bisa menentu arah hidupmu

Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk

Pagi terjaga ku dari mimpi
Terasa hati senang sekali
Indah nya dunia ketika kita muda remaja

Segalanya dalam genggaman
Walau apa pun takkan menjadi halangan
Hidup ini setia menanti
Generasiku bersinar bagai mentari

Segalanya dalam genggaman
Walau apa pun takkan menjadi halangan
Hidup ini setia menanti
Generasiku bersinar bagai mentari

Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk
Uk-oh uk-oh uk-uk

Segalanya dalam genggaman
Hidup ini generasiku

as i am growing, i learn that...

about 21 years ago, i was just a small kid, with almost zero knowledge, skills, and etc..but, at that time, no one hated all, i was so adorable (well, don't get me wrong! semua bayi adalah comel! so was i)..but, as i am growing up, i notice that there are more and more people starting to "dislike" me...ironically, as compared to whom i was back then, i am now more matured, more knowledgeable in specific areas, skillful, and i could say that i have more to offer now than what i had back then..still, am not as adorable and lovable as i was used to get before..but, why?

to answer that, let's see the differences between me, a month-year old baby and me, a 21 year-old undergrad student, studying engineering in US school:

1) as a baby i was told that it was okay not to use my brain..people could understand my situation..but, as i am growing older, people are becoming more critical and judgmental on my acts..everything i do must come with a reason..otherwise, i would be called as "brainless!" back then, when i asked my parents to buy me something, they would say, " honey, come again, what do you want?" but now, the question might be slightly is no longer "what" type of is now, "why should" kinda question..

2) as a baby i was taught to see commons rather than differences..let's take an example, as a kid, i was always encouraged to make friends with mother used to say, " hey, go out and make some friends!" or "see those boys! they might be someone you know..go and be friend to them!" there was no "be careful" or in other words, i was told not to be selective in making friends..i was told not only to ignore the differences between my friends and i, but also to find the commons between us..but, as am growing up, i have been taught that "being different" is cool..even, i am used to hear people saying that, "dare to be different!" it seems like, to be "someone" else is better than to tag yourself along with others..that's why, i think, many of divorced couple are thinking that the real reason for their failed marriage is because of their differences..they believe that there is no longer understanding between them, as they are too way different from one another..yet, i could say that it's not there is no commons between those couples, but they tend to seek their differences rather than to work on their commons! but, whose to be blamed?

3) 20 years ago, i was told that if i was thirsty i should let my mother knows by crying..i didn't have to mind on how to get my drinks by myself...every time, i "terberak" in my diaper, i didn't have to worry to change other words, i can easily blame others, by crying, for all my mistakes..but, as of now, whatever mistakes that i make, i am the one who is responsible to make them right..otherwise, people will blame me..still, they are many adults, who like to point others for bad things happen around them...well, many knows that their society are in trouble, but only few really take the responsible to fix them..the rest prefer to take no action..the only thing they know is to point the mistakes to other parties..government x bagus la, jabatan agama x jalankan tugas la..but, they never ask themselves a very basic question: "what should i do??"

4) while i was a baby boy, i never told to be considerable to others' feelings..whatever dissatisfaction that i had, i was told to speak them out, by crying for example..i was never told that people might be hurt from what i had done..but now, i do realize that all things that i have done will affect people around me..i need now to consider not only my feeling but also the others..and then comes a term of "white lies." for some, it might be immoral to lie, for whatever reasons..but, i beg to live in a society, we have no options..we cannot see our lives only from our own perspectives/views..we need/have to see it from people's views..otherwise, you would end up having no friends in society..believe me, if you think that living alone is good, then to be ignorant about others' feelings might suit you the best..i know some might disagree with me on this..but, you might thank me 20/ 30 years after u read this..that's the reality, tho it is a bit harsh for us to accept be honest, i am no fan of liars, anyway!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

i was told to.. (my life-lessons)

as a kid,

i was told to be a good person, who respects others and their differences..
i was told that family always comes first, in good or bad times..
i was told that life is tough, and no one could survive it except the tough ones..
i was told that success is guaranteed for those who work for it..
i was told that hardship is a tool to measure one's true color..
i was told that money is important, but i should not be a slave to it..
i was told that education is pure and sacred, as it involves a process of learning oneself and his/her creator..
i was told that struggle will never last, unless he/she is dead..
i was told that everything happens around me, it happens with reasons..
i was told that to enter "jannah" is one's ultimate goal..

..and for these lessons, if not all, i know my life better..thanks to mom for sharing with me these valuable life-lessons..but, i have to admit, i am still far to be what you have expected me to be..but, am working on it..i know sometimes i did disappoint you, but believe me, i need more times to do so..since today is May 16 (Malaysia time), which is supposed to be a teacher's day, i would like to thank you, mom, for being a good, and supportive teacher to me! love you to the bits..

Friday, May 14, 2010

To see a disaster as an opportunity to..

i just got back from my dean's office..i tried to negotiate w/ him so that the trip could be continued..i suggested a few options, such as delaying the program till the situation is safe, getting a new airline to the extend that i was willing to pay the fare more that i should to, and etc...but, as he said, it was the final decision that the trip, and the program were cancelled..he knew how disappointed i was, but he told me that he had to be rational in making this decision..he didn't want to take any risk..yes, i knew his reason..but, for some, this trip was just another trip...what was the big deal??? but, for me, it did matter...

a year ago:

it started about a year ago, while my friends and i were on a ski trip..i got an email from one of my deans, notifying me that i was offered to join a new program, called "Stevens Scholar Program." for this program, i was told that i would be given three options throughout my academic years as long as i could stay in this keep staying in this program, i have to maintain good CGPA, attending various seminars, and so a reward, i could choose either of the following options:

1) to further my study to Masters..Stevens will sponsor on this
2) to do double major..the second major will be fully sponsored by Stevens
3) to do summer research (+ study abroad program)

..well, i took sometimes, considering all these options..all pro's and con's were considered in a very thorough way..i saw this is as a gold opportunity for me..then, after discussing w/ some of my professors, and my family (esp. my mom and Mak Jai), i have decided to go for the last's not the first two options were not interesting, yet i found the last one to be more beneficial..

the struggles:

so, i knew once i decided, there was no turning back..i went to various research seminars, talked to some experienced friends on this matter, discussed w/ some of professors, did some internet research, and etc, i finally convinced myself that the decision was a good one!, as i said, i had put lots of efforts as to keep staying in this program...i didn't mind when people making fun of me for being such a nerd guy..well, it's not i really wanted to end up being nerdy! tell me, whose on earth don't want to enjoy their lives? tell me, whose guy like to stay in library, doing some revisions, while his friends were enjoying their lives outside?? no one right? so did i..i was being such hardworking guy, because i knew clearly the rewards of all these hardships..

..then, i tried to convince my mother that i won't go back for this summer..i can tell u that it was pretty hard to reasoning when it comes to the person, whom you love so much..i knew my mom was a bit disappointed when i told her that i had to stay in States for the whole, to make her happy, i promised to come back for this year's winter break..well, to think fiscally, it is not really worthy..but, to make my mom's happy, i don't mind to do anything..'s not over get all my expenses for study abroad covered by my school, i had to make sure that i was accepted for summer research program, as usual, i had to write my own proposal, find my own advisor, choose my own topic, and etc...well, it seemed pretty easy at the beginning, but, as i went through the process, it's getting tougher and tougher..but, i enjoyed doing all those stuffs, because, for the same reason, i knew my rewards..i knew it was not a good thing to badmouth people, but, i was and am a bit disappointed with the treatment given by my advisor..she seemed to be not very helpful at all..out of zillions appointment i made w/ her, i just met her twice or thrice..but, i could understand how busy she, as a result, i had to do by my own..well, i was very lost at the very beginning, but, alhamdulillah, now, i can see my direction..thanks to various free scholar journal, i could understand my research topic better now..

..then, two weeks after i sent my research proposal, i was told by my professor that i was being accepted for the research implied that i could get almost a free trip to Norway, not for a holiday, but a short course was three-week program..for the last week, i would probably get a chance to meet some entrepreneur over there..i was so excited about was my dream to sit and talk w/ some business guys! but, when the date of the trip was announced, i was ambivalent: to go or not..if i chose to go, there might some problems rose:

1) i need to withdraw my participation for Midwest game..if it was only me, i did't mind..but, it involved others since my friend and i had been practicing a lot for badminton double..instead, he had postponed his back to Malaysia..this cost him hundreds of dollars more than he should..

2) i might miss my seniors' commencement day..and of course, one of persons, whom i love the most, is also graduating means that i might miss that one also..

3) i need to save my money for the trip since i have to use my money first..only when i come back from the trip, Stevens will reimburse my do so, i decided not to join road trip w/ my one knows how disappointed i was when i decided not to follow my friends to has been my dream to see "cowboy"

..but, after discussing w/ my close friend, he had convinced me to go for the trip..considering the exposure i might get, plus a chance to travel w/ Americans, i decided to, it was pretty hard at the beginning..but, i was lucky to have friends, whom understood my situation..thanks my friends for being real and true friend to me..i did appreciate it.., as you know, to travel abroad, there were many things i have to prepare: documentations, health insurance, and etc..Thank to God, everything was settled last week..and i already signed the waiver form so that whatever happens to me during the trip, i would be fully responsible for that..also, i had managed to get the permission from residence office to store my stuffs at a temporary place for current housing will be closed for the whole summer..meanwhile, i can only enter my summer housing on May 21, a day after my flight was supposed to be..

..but, this morning, i woke up w/ a bad news..i mean, really really a bad news..i was told that the trip was cancelled due to unavoidable reasons: the high potential of volcano eruption + the possible strike by people over there..urgh, i didn't know what to do..i didn't know how to describe my feeling..only God knows!


..after having my lunch, i slept for the whole day..well, it was typical of me, to sleep whenever i felt so bad about myself..thank God, when i woke up, i felt so strong..i didn't know from where the feeling came..thus, i told myself, i won't give up on this..i know, whatever happens, it happens with reasons..and i believe Allah has better plans for me..but, to tell you that i'm not disappointed, it is a lie! i am still disappointed for all struggles i had made for this..but, i promised myself to see this as an opportunity for me to be a better person..what kind of opportunity?? i haven't seen yet..but, i do believe there is one, a good thing, waiting for me..and as of now, i will try to refocus myself on my programming project...argh, i hate programmming..haha..

“O you who believe! Seek help in patience and prayer. Truly! Allah is with the patient.” (Verse 153) Surat Al-Baqarah.

the trip is cancelled!

my trip to Norway is cancelled due to high potential of volcano eruption..furthermore, most of the flights to Oslo are not available due to that reason...what a bad day! waking up this morning just to know the bad news! lol...this is so disgusting!

Ignorance is a bliss? NOT in America's housing bust!

some might say that, sometimes ignorance is just a bliss, planning is a mess, and mathematics has no values in life..but, here is the article that denies all those flaw statements:

"Subprime borrowing and innumeracy: The Fear of all Sums" - The Economist

Tak Ingat Mati Ker?

pelik kdg2 tgk sesetengah org bergaduh smpai membawa permusuhan..yg menyedihkan pergaduhan sesama seagama! bukan maen hebat dan bangga lagi mereka mendedahkan keaiban dan menelanjangkan peribadi seseorang..wah, seperti mereka ini terlalu sempurna untuk melakukan kesilapan...ini yang menyedihkan..budaya fithnah-memfitnah semakin menjadi2..yang lagi menyedihkan lagi, ramai dari kalangan masyarakat kita yang semakin hari semakin seronok disodok dan diasak dengan pelbagai fitnah! sudah2 la..x ingat mati ker??

org kata, "rumah kata pergi, kubur kata mari!" insaflah selagi pintu taubat masih terbuka! jgn menyesal di kemudian hari, sebab umur nie semua kita tak tau..mungkin esok lusa giliran kita untuk bertemu dengan Allah..datang kita ke alam ini dengan cara yang sangat mulia..mudah-mudahan perginya kita pun dengan cara yang mulia..renung2 kan dan selamat beramal!

p/s: i would like to take this opportunity to apologize for things that i've done, intentionally or unintentionally...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

life is short...

life is short..i was just 2 year-old kid, playing w/ my remote controlled tank, about 19 years ago..i was amazed how the tank worked back, when i'm 21 yrs old, i got a chance to do it for myself...see, how fast time is? so, for those who haven't decided yet your purpose of life, including me, please do so! time will never wait for us..the longer we have been in undecided state, the more things we might lose in our, tunggu apa lagi?? let's work, now!

*am so motivated, waking up this morning!"

always find a place to hide!

..whenever i feel so stress, i'll always find a place, which could make me feeling better..right now, am working for a modeling and simulation project w/ a friend of mine...and we are simulating the airport queuing system..hell yeah! cliche project, huh?? nothing new...but, the problem is i don't really like programming..and whenever i have to work on programming, i'll feel bad bout myself, such as "kenapa la bodoh sgt ak nie!", "kreatif skit boleh x!", and etc...

..well, the thing that i really hate is when i'm being criticized by "myself." i'd be very very fine if it comes from someone used to that..but, when, i, myself, don't believe in "me," that would be a big disaster.., to make things better, i always let myself being in a place that i'm good in, such as politics, economy, business and etc..well, that's why, i guess, i cannot separate myself from those stuffs, no matter how hard i try...they are like my "safe places!" lol

..but, talking about business, now, am reading lots of articles from Harvard Business Review(HBR). Those articles are easy to understand, very "eye-opening," and sometimes, they give me some ideas on how i should live my life..and there was one article that has worked fine to's about motivation, "How and When to Motivate Yourself." the link to the article is given below:

..also, there was an article that really caught my "brain" attention:

p/s: x rugi if we spend much times on reading! it is really helpful in shaping our perspective to the world! so, read as much as possible, no matter what, good or bad things! adios amigos

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Happy Birthday, Fariza Ismail!!

"ceit, muka x nk poyo lg!"
btw, ak rembat dr ur fb profile

"happy birthday to you"
"happy birthday to you"
"happy birthday to pjord"
"happy birthday to you!"


..sedar x sedar, dh tua ek ko! 22 tahun..u are blessed to be born on May 13, a black day in Malaysians, it's easier for me to remember your birthday...May 13= big riot=pjord's, whatever! so, since this is your birthday, i took ur privilege to make some wishes:

  1. i hope that our friendship will remain forever..till death keeps us apart..cewahh
  2. i hope you are not that "poyo", i know u might be angry w/ this statement..
  3. i hope that u will be a good daughter to ur mother..i know how important your mother is to u!
  4. i hope that u will succeed in ur real life and also ur career path...penat dah ak pujuk ko suruh sambung belajar lpas abis ur undergrad, tp still ko degil! hehe..mmg x makan saman minah nie!
  5. i hope that u will find somebody who suits u the best..u deserve a good man since u r a good girl..definitely, i'm out of ur a bad guy, believe me! haha
  6. i hope that all my wishes to u come true..also, please pray for my best also..

best regard,

Mohamad (Mike) Tamrin

"kaki-ponteng" kelas
"kaki-tidur" dalam kelas
"tp baik hati!" lol



..lately, saya tgk ramai kawan2 lama yg sudah semakin kaya..siap tangkap gambar duit lg ltk kt fb...berkepuk2 tue..sekali tgk mmg jeles a friend, am really happy for them..manelah tau, if we are meeting in future, they'll treat me a lunch or dinner at any exclusive restauranst...well, at least, i got the chance to eat expensive, not-so-delicious foods..

..saya pon turut gembira, bilamana mereka tidak perlu bersusah-payah mencari duit..well, how i wish i were in their places..don't have to cram my mind, learning new the end, they are still wealthier than me..unfair?? i don't think so...walau sejuta mana pon duit mereka, am still not jealous w/ them..i still like the way i am now...yes, i love money..instead, it is always my dream to be a, i have my own way to do kater, biler kiter berusaha bersungguh2 untuk dapatkan sesuatu, then you will appreciate the results's okay to start from the bottom..i don't have to be that "big money" guy, 5-10 years after my graduation..i know, it takes me sometime to do so..even, Steve Job, took some years before he came up w/ his APPLE brand!

..but, i still have questions on how my "rich" friends got their money..okay, let's assume that there is really a system (MLM, perhaps) that gives them all the money..but, how long could that system remain???2 years?? 3 years?? so, what will they do after that??? find another new system??? okay, let's be positive! considering the best case scenario, they manage to live in that way for the rest of their lives..meaning that, they don't have to work hard to be rich..everyday is holiday, according to some of them...but, i still don't like that way..when i was thinking to start/build my own business empire, money was not my real goal...yes, i want to accumulate as much money as possible so that i could share them w/ my society..but, my main goal is that i want to build my own reputation, just like Syed Mokhtar, Tony Fernandes...yes, i want to leave my own legacy when i'm dead..i want to aspire people from my own success..that's the comes after all these reasons..

..yet, don't get me wrong..i'm more than pleased to see my friends to be as what you like to do...but, don't ever question my ways of living my own life..i have my own vision, so do you! i'll work to realize my own dream, so should you! please stop convincing me to join u! cause, you will never succeed in doing so...all in all, i wish u guys all the best in your life journey..

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tribute to Tun Mahathir!

To Tun Mahathir, i do admire him for his struggles and hard works for developing this country. For me, he is still a statesman, regardless of how many bad things people might say about him..well, no one is perfect! plus, those people have done nothing to this country,anyway...thus, i dedicate this song for Tun, a man who devotes his life to this country, who never gives up on his struggles, who bravely speaks on behalf of Islamic countries for many years, and etc...May God bless u!

Sheila Majid (Lagenda)

Sejuta bintang di angkasa
Sinarnya mempesona
Sebutir bintang di taman seni
Cahayanya berseri
Biar bertahun masa beredar
Satu wajah satu nama takkan pudar

Tetap jelas di ruang mata
Setiap gerak gaya
Bergetaran merdu sinar
Di persada budaya
Hingga kini menjadi sebutan
Tetap terpahat namamu di ingatan

( korus )
Kaulah satu satunya
Di antara berjuta
Insan teristimewa

Patah tak tumbuh lagi
Hilang belum berganti
Kerana kau tersendiri

Kaulah satu satunya
Di antara berjuta
Insan teristimewa

Kau kebanggaan kita
Kau budayawan bangsa
Engkau... lagenda

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