about 21 years ago, i was just a small kid, with almost zero knowledge, skills, and etc..but, at that time, no one hated me..to all, i was so adorable (well, don't get me wrong! semua bayi adalah comel! so was i)..but, as i am growing up, i notice that there are more and more people starting to "dislike" me...ironically, as compared to whom i was back then, i am now more matured, more knowledgeable in specific areas, skillful, and i could say that i have more to offer now than what i had back then..still, am not as adorable and lovable as i was used to get before..but, why?
to answer that, let's see the differences between me, a month-year old baby and me, a 21 year-old undergrad student, studying engineering in US school:
1) as a baby i was told that it was okay not to use my brain..people could understand my situation..but, as i am growing older, people are becoming more critical and judgmental on my acts..everything i do must come with a reason..otherwise, i would be called as "brainless!" back then, when i asked my parents to buy me something, they would say, " honey, come again, what do you want?" but now, the question might be slightly different..it is no longer "what" type of question..it is now, "why should" kinda question..
2) as a baby i was taught to see commons rather than differences..let's take an example, as a kid, i was always encouraged to make friends with everybody..my mother used to say, " hey, go out and make some friends!" or "see those boys! they might be someone you know..go and be friend to them!" there was no "be careful" or in other words, i was told not to be selective in making friends..i was told not only to ignore the differences between my friends and i, but also to find the commons between us..but, as am growing up, i have been taught that "being different" is cool..even, i am used to hear people saying that, "dare to be different!" it seems like, to be "someone" else is better than to tag yourself along with others..that's why, i think, many of divorced couple are thinking that the real reason for their failed marriage is because of their differences..they believe that there is no longer understanding between them, as they are too way different from one another..yet, i could say that it's not there is no commons between those couples, but they tend to seek their differences rather than to work on their commons! but, whose to be blamed?
3) 20 years ago, i was told that if i was thirsty i should let my mother knows by crying..i didn't have to mind on how to get my drinks by myself...every time, i "terberak" in my diaper, i didn't have to worry to change it..in other words, i can easily blame others, by crying, for all my mistakes..but, as of now, whatever mistakes that i make, i am the one who is responsible to make them right..otherwise, people will blame me..still, they are many adults, who like to point others for bad things happen around them...well, many knows that their society are in trouble, but only few really take the responsible to fix them..the rest prefer to take no action..the only thing they know is to point the mistakes to other parties..government x bagus la, jabatan agama x jalankan tugas la..but, they never ask themselves a very basic question: "what should i do??"
4) while i was a baby boy, i never told to be considerable to others' feelings..whatever dissatisfaction that i had, i was told to speak them out, by crying for example..i was never told that people might be hurt from what i had done..but now, i do realize that all things that i have done will affect people around me..i need now to consider not only my feeling but also the others..and then comes a term of "white lies." for some, it might be immoral to lie, for whatever reasons..but, i beg to differ..to live in a society, we have no options..we cannot see our lives only from our own perspectives/views..we need/have to see it from people's views..otherwise, you would end up having no friends in society..believe me, if you think that living alone is good, then to be ignorant about others' feelings might suit you the best..i know some might disagree with me on this..but, you might thank me 20/ 30 years after u read this..that's the reality, tho it is a bit harsh for us to accept it..to be honest, i am no fan of liars, anyway!
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