Wednesday, June 30, 2010


i woke up around 3am this morning because there was something in my stomach that was killing was deadly was like someone was stabbing me w/ a sharp object! i couldn't even move myself since for any movements i made, the pain was just getting worse and worse! idk, what to do..the phone was somewhere in my room..and it was dark! i was pretty sure, if i even screamed for help, no one would listen to me..then, all the pics of me dead were popping up in my head, just like those shown in the tv! DUDE, it was really scary! at that time, i felt like i was not ready to die! i have yet been a good servant to my Lord, a good son to my parents, a supporting dude to all my buddies, a good student to my teachers, and etc...i remembered i almost broke into tears..but then, i realized i wasn't supposed to behave like that..if it was my time to die, i'll be dead no matter, a pic of my late Grandfather came across my late grandpa used to remind me that whenever i feel that i was about to die, i have to utter "kalimah syahadah!" and i did what he told me..and am not  pretty sure,  yet it was almost 2 hours till the pain was finally gone! and you know what, that 2 hours was the longest waiting time i have ever had in my life..every single second, i was asking God to forgive all my sins..

yet, Thank to God, am still alive now! and am very thankful for giving me another chance to live my life! and am pretty sure, the time when i will not be given another opportunity is getting closer! and i promise myself, i don't want to waste my life anymore..i want to be the best Servant to my LORD, the best son to my parents, the best buddy to my friends, and the best person in my society..and since i'm still living now, i am asking forgiveness to those that i have hurt intentionally/unintentionally.. and of course, i already forgave all your bad deeds to me! and i want to live my life happily! ;)

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